A Yuppie International Banker's Apology to his children in 2008 just before he disappears from public view:
 
"On behalf of my generation and all others like me, please accept my apology for those acts listed below:
 
1. Forgive me for allowing my children to play excessive video games and become violence oriented from them. I didn't listen to the researchers back in the 1980's. Back then it was clinically discovered that the affects of violent games had lasting effects but I ignored those findings. The games became worse and more violent after the turn of the millennium but I figured "it would happen to someone else's children."
 
2. Forgive me for not making my children play outside with other children. Instead, I sheltered them indoors where they were in front of either the television or computer.
 
3. Forgive me for ignoring the cries, pleads and warnings of true patriots that years ago told me liberties would vanish forever, until a civil war ensued. But today experts don't think a grass roots movement has a chance, because of tracking chip implants.
 
4. Forgive me for laughing off the crooked elections back in 2004 as an internet hoax - and thinking that because the media was silent about it there wasn't a problem. Was I ever wrong.
 
5. Forgive me for not voicing opposition towards the Patriot Act, and the follow-up to it some called Patriot 2. It truly was the beginning of the end of freedom in America.
 
6. Forgive me for not disciplining my children, and giving into the whining liberals that said any form of effective discipline is abuse. Now my son is in trouble with the law because he thinks the world is like a video game, and lashes out at anyone at anytime. Teachers at school now are threatening that if he isn't on a mind-controlling drug, he won't be allowed at school.
 
7. Forgive me for finally giving in to email porn and letting my children see it. I could have stopped it with the right software, but didn't think it would affect them that much. That is, until my 14 year old daughter tried to pose for a pay-porn website. By then it was too late.
 
8. Forgive me for firmly thinking that God doesn't exist. Scientists today have finally admitted to it after decoding the remaining DNA. I was dumber than a door-knob and went with the ultra-liberal viewpoints of past years. It was the recent miracle of a drowned 12 year old girl that changed me. She was underwater for an hour, and when she was revived without brain damage. This convinced me God must exist.
 
9. Forgive me when I thought the economy would perpetually support a ballooning national debt. Now it's crashed and all agree it will not come back as it was. The chip implant has replaced all the cash I carried before. Years ago I knew the right powerful people in world government that could have averted this inventory system for humanity. It was right there within my grasp, but I never grabbed the chance to change things. Now were all just like inventory on a store shelf.
 
10. Forgive me for believing the Federal Reserve was part of the government. I was just going along with what I was taught in school. Shortly after becoming successful as a international banker, I discovered the truth but still chose to ignore it. It was when I found it was only in the business section of telephone directories, did I begin to think about it and look into it. Now I know America is run by the Bankers, and they pull every string in Washington. As we say in the business world about the golden rule - "He who has the gold, rules."
 
11. Forgive me for believing the fabricated myth of terrorism. Why did I believe only men that wear bed sheets in civilian life could only be responsible for the numerous terror acts that began in 2001 ? Television and media all stated this as fact, therefore I believed foreign terrorism on American soil was real.
 
12. Forgive me for pretending to ignore the missing people that began to be public in 2005. Good friends and relatives that vanished during the night. Neighbors whose front doors were wide open in the morning, no one home and their car in the driveway. But I was told it was for the good of America, so I believed it.
 
13. Forgive me for ignoring the countless deaths, mutilations and birth defects of returning service-people from the mid-east. There were so many that suffered from this. It wasn't on television, so I laughed them off as conspiracy nuts. Now my own grandchild is missing and arm and a leg at birth. And all my millions won't help him be normal again. Already the children are ridiculing him. This was his father's reward for volunteering for Bush's war - to bring the radioactivity and toxins home to harm his wife and unborn children.
 
14. Forgive me for thinking that chemtrails were not real. Recently a whistle-blower named John was on a live television interview exposing everything about it. He claimed he knew all about it, because he helped mix the chemicals used in the planes. I thought he was another conspiracy nut too, until the next morning it was announced a mysterious explosion happened in his home during the night where he was sleeping. He didn't survive. What got my attention was the Homeland Security vehicles that showed up at the blaze, and prevented ordinary local police from getting near it. Even fireman were not allowed access to put out the blaze. All they could do was to water down nearby buildings to prevent flash-over.
 
15. Forgive me for refusing to believe we were really under martial law since 2001. Only recently did Bush declare this, and tell the world he kept it secret to protect the world's economy. And all those years, many suspected that since 2001 it was in place ! It explains why all those various acts and bills on capitol hill Bush wanted, he always got. Including Patriot 2, the worst freedom crushing act in US history.
 
17. Forgive me for thinking that social engineering is a myth. Because of all the things I've listed above, I know its fact.
 
18. Forgive me for believing everything in history books must be true and factual. And for laughing off historical documents and European history that contradict what I was taught in school.
 
19. Forgive me for believing that the government could not legally take my hard-earned fortune and assets. They did it anyway. And everything else I owned. All because of a casual remark I made at the office talking about the president and a mentally challenged chimpanzee in the same sentence. But with the crashed economy all of it would have been lost anyway, because now the dollar is obsolete. I'm writing this email to you at the library because they also took my computer. I have to sign off now to go visit a camp for a place to eat and sleep. Some people here are whispering that I can't leave the camp once inside, but this America and that can't happen here."
 
Ted Twietmeyer

Do We See A Pattern Here?

Democrats

* Richard Gephardt: Air National Guard, 1965-71.
* David Bonior: Staff Sgt., Air Force 1968-72.
* Tom Daschle: 1st Lt., Air Force SAC 1969-72.
* Al Gore: enlisted Aug. 1969; sent to Vietnam Jan. 1971 as an army journalist in 20th Engineer Brigade.
* Bob Kerrey: Lt. j.g. Navy 1966-69; Medal of Honor, Vietnam.
* Daniel Inouye: Army 1943-47; Medal of Honor, WWII.
* John Kerry: Lt., Navy 1966-70; Silver Star, Bronze Star with Combat V, Purple Hearts.
* Charles Rangel: Staff Sgt., Army 1948-52; Bronze Star, Korea.
* Max Cleland: Captain, Army 1965-68; Silver Star & Bronze Star, Vietnam.
* Ted Kennedy: Army, 1951-53.
* Tom Harkin: Lt., Navy, 1962-67; Naval Reserve, 1968-74.
* Jack Reed: Army Ranger, 1971-1979; Captain, Army Reserve 1979-91.
* Fritz Hollings: Army officer in WWII; Bronze Star and seven campaign ribbons.
* Leonard Boswell: Lt. Col., Army 1956-76; Vietnam, DFCs, Bronze Stars, and Soldier's Medal.
* Pete Peterson: Air Force Captain, POW. Purple Heart, Silver Star and Legion of Merit.
* Mike Thompson: Staff sergeant, 173rd Airborne, Purple Heart.
* Bill McBride: Candidate for Fla. Governor. Marine in Vietnam; Bronze Star with Combat V.
* Gray Davis: Army Captain in Vietnam, Bronze Star.
* Pete Stark: Air Force 1955-57
* Chuck Robb: Vietnam
* Howell Heflin: Silver Star
* George McGovern: Silver Star & DFC during WWII.
* Bill Clinton: Did not serve. Student deferments. Entered draft but received #311.
* Jimmy Carter: Seven years in the Navy.
* Walter Mondale: Army 1951-1953
* John Glenn: WWII and Korea; six DFCs and Air Medal with 18 Clusters.
* Tom Lantos: Served in Hungarian underground in WWII. Saved by Raoul Wallenberg.


Republicans

* Dick Cheney: did not serve. Several deferments, the last by marriage.
* Dennis Hastert: did not serve.
* Tom Delay: did not serve.
* Roy Blunt: did not serve.
* Bill Frist: did not serve.
* Mitch McConnell: did not serve.
* Rick Santorum: did not serve.
* Trent Lott: did not serve.
* John Ashcroft: did not serve. Seven deferments to teach business.
* Jeb Bush: did not serve.
* Karl Rove: did not serve.
* Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. "Bad knee." The man who attacked Max Cleland's patriotism.
* Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.
* Vin Weber: did not serve.
* Richard Perle: did not serve.
* Douglas Feith: did not serve.
* Eliot Abrams: did not serve
* Richard Shelby: did not serve.
* Jon! Kyl: did not serve
* Tim Hutchison: did not serve.
* Christopher Cox: did not serve.
* Newt Gingrich: did not serve.
* Don Rumsfeld: served in Navy (1954-57) as flight instructor.
* George W. Bush: failed to complete his six-year National Guard; got assigned to Alabama so he could campaign for family friend running for U.S.
Senate; failed to show up for required medical exam, disappeared from duty.
* Ronald Reagan: due to poor eyesight, served in a non-combat role making movies.
* B-1 Bob Dornan: Consciously enlisted after fighting was over in Korea.
* Phil Gramm: did not serve.
* John McCain: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross.
* Dana Rohrabacher: did not serve.
* John M. McHugh: did not serve.
* JC Watts: did not serve.
* Jack Kemp: did not serve. "Knee problem," although continued in NFL for 8 years.
* Dan Quayle: Journalism unit of the Indiana National Guard.
* Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.
* George Pataki: did not serve.
* Spencer Abraham: did not serve.
* John Engler: did not serve.
* Lindsey Graham: National Guard lawyer.
* Arnold Schwarzenegger: AWOL from Austrian army base.


Pundits & Preachers

* Sean Hannity: did not serve.
* Rush Limbaugh: did not serve (4-F with a 'pilonidal cyst.')
* Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.
* Michael Savage: did not serve.
* George Will: did not serve
* Chris Matthews: did not serve.
* Paul Gigot: did not serve.
* Bill Bennett: did not serve.
* Pat Buchanan: did not serve.
* John Wayne: did not serve.
* Bill Kristol: did not serve.
* Kenneth Starr: did not serve.
* Antonin Scalia: did not serve.
* Clarence Thomas: did not serve.
* Ralph Reed: did not serve.
* Michael Medved: did not serve.
* Charlie Daniels: did not serve.
* Ted Nugent: did not serve. (He only shoots at things that don't shoot back.)

This kitten survived 10 days without food or water. They named him after the shipping container he was found in. He now weighs two pounds and has tons of spirit. Meow.

The lies that we were told...

Every day Saddam remains in power with chemical weapons, biological weapons, and the development of nuclear weapons is a day of danger for the United States.

Sen. Joseph Lieberman, D-CT, September 4, 2002

Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction.

Dick Cheney August 26, 2002

If we wait for the danger to become clear, it could be too late.

Sen. Joseph Biden D-Del., September 4, 2002

Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving facilities that were used for the production of biological weapons.

George W. Bush September 12, 2002

If he declares he has none, then we will know that Saddam Hussein is once again misleading the world.

Ari Fleischer December 2, 2002

We know for a fact that there are weapons there.

Ari Fleischer January 9, 2003

Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam Hussein had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent.

George W. Bush January 28, 2003

We know that Saddam Hussein is determined to keep his weapons of mass destruction, is determined to make more.

Colin Powell February 5, 2003

Iraq both poses a continuing threat to the national security of the United States and international peace and security in the Persian Gulf region and remains in material and unacceptable breach of its international obligations by, among other things, continuing to possess and develop a significant chemical and biological weapons capability, actively seeking a nuclear weapons capability, and supporting and harboring terrorist organizations.

Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, February 5, 2003

We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons -- the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have.

George Bush February 8, 2003

So has the strategic decision been made to disarm Iraq of its weapons of mass destruction by the leadership in Baghdad? I think our judgment has to be clearly not.

Colin Powell March 8, 2003

Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised.

George Bush March 18, 2003

We are asked to accept Saddam decided to destroy those weapons. I say that such a claim is palpably absurd.

Tony Blair, Prime Minister 18 March, 2003

Well, there is no question that we have evidence and information that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, biological and chemical particularly . . . all this will be made clear in the course of the operation, for whatever duration it takes.

Ari Fleisher March 21, 2003

There is no doubt that the regime of Saddam Hussein possesses weapons of mass destruction. As this operation continues, those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them.

Gen. Tommy Franks March 22, 2003

I have no doubt we're going to find big stores of weapons of mass destruction.

Kenneth Adelman, Defense Policy Board , March 23, 2003

One of our top objectives is to find and destroy the WMD. There are a number of sites.

Pentagon Spokeswoman Victoria Clark March 22, 2003

We know where they are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad.

Donald Rumsfeld March 30, 2003



Saddam's removal is necessary to eradicate the threat from his weapons of mass destruction

Jack Straw,
Foreign Secretary 2 April, 2003

Obviously the administration intends to publicize all the weapons of mass destruction U.S. forces find -- and there will be plenty.

Neocon scholar Robert Kagan April 9, 2003

I think you have always heard, and you continue to hear from officials, a measure of high confidence that, indeed, the weapons of mass destruction will be found.

Ari Fleischer April 10, 2003

We are learning more as we interrogate or have discussions with Iraqi scientists and people within the Iraqi structure, that perhaps he destroyed some, perhaps he dispersed some. And so we will find them.

George Bush April 24, 2003

Before people crow about the absence of weapons of mass destruction, I suggest they wait a bit.

Tony Blair 28 April, 2003


There are people who in large measure have information that we need . . . so that we can track down the weapons of mass destruction in that country. Donald Rumsfeld April 25, 2003

We'll find them. It'll be a matter of time to do so.

George Bush May 3, 2003

I am confident that we will find evidence that makes it clear he had weapons of mass destruction.

Colin Powell May 4, 2003

I never believed that we'd just tumble over weapons of mass destruction in that country.

Donald Rumsfeld May 4, 2003

I'm not surprised if we begin to uncover the weapons program of Saddam Hussein -- because he had a weapons program.

George W. Bush May 6, 2003

U.S. officials never expected that "we were going to open garages and find" weapons of mass destruction.

Condoleeza Rice May 12, 2003

I just don't know whether it was all destroyed years ago -- I mean, there's no question that there were chemical weapons years ago -- whether they were destroyed right before the war, (or) whether they're still hidden.

Maj. Gen. David Petraeus,
Commander 101st Airborne May 13, 2003

Before the war, there's no doubt in my mind that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, biological and chemical. I expected them to be found. I still expect them to be found.

Gen. Michael Hagee,
Commandant of the Marine Corps May 21, 2003

Given time, given the number of prisoners now that we're interrogating, I'm confident that we're going to find weapons of mass destruction.

Gen. Richard Myers,
Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff May 26, 2003

They may have had time to destroy them, and I don't know the answer.

Donald Rumsfeld May 27, 2003

For bureaucratic reasons, we settled on one issue, weapons of mass destruction (as justification for invading Iraq) because it was the one reason everyone could agree on.

Paul Wolfowitz May 28, 2003

I'm putting this in writing because I know no one will believe it when I say I can predict the future. This is dated Oct. 6th, 2004, and follows the Vice-Presidential debates held last night. We will have an October Surprise. Osama Bin-Laden will be caught and captured or killed within the next 3 weeks. There will be another terrorist incident between now and the election on Nov. 2nd. Martha will go to jail. And you will still be the cutest kitten on the planet. I love my kitten. Meow....

If you are bored, and can't find a new website to visit, try this one...
Fark, your total news source
Very funny....

-K

Probably the most vicious dog you have ever seen. Grrrrrr.

S.A.G. Election results are in!

In a loud clear voice, the membership of Hollywood , which generates 65% of the guilds revenue from over fifty percent of the total membership, has Overwhelmingly rejected the policies of The Restore Respect leadership while giving a clear mandate to the policies of Membership First Slate!

Membership First swept the Hollywood Board winning 34 out of 35 Seats!

Here are the confirmed winners!

In the order of votes received:

Lou Diamond Phillips, Valerie Harper, Esai Morales, Kent McCord, Seymour Cassel, Bill Daniels, Frances Fisher, Alan Rosenberg, Jane Austin, France Nuyen, Bonnie Bartlett, David Huddleston, Leigh French, Bob Carlson, Jenny Worman, William Russ, Gretchen Koerner, Cynthia Steele, Yale Summers, Reneé Aubry, Angela Watson, Millie Wright, Russell McConnell, Mark S Reed, David Jolliffe, Robert Amico, Paul Hartel, Anthony DeSantis, James St. James, Mark Carlton, Jeff Austin, Justin Shenkarow, *Loretta Swit, Brad Blaisdell, Laird Stuart
*Loreta Swit ran on the Restore Respect slate

Membership First garnered all 13 NATIONAL BOARD SEATS!

Congratulations to all of the confirmed elected winners.
I know that true Union folk, who keep an eye out for the little guy, will help bring our talented and patriotic Guild back to the fold. In the members hands.

Now, let's send Melissa Gilbert back to the prairie.

Can you help find a home for this lost kitten?

These are cute, but somehow hideous at the same time.

A new baby panda was born. Isn't he the cutest little fuzzy-face you have ever seen?

Isn't he cute?

For those of us who did not have a Light-Bright as a kid.

The first pets were cloned successfully! They are cute little kittens that look just like their Mommy. You can see a picture of them here. http://www.local6.com/news/3623918/detail.html
They look like each other too. Which is a real breakthrough in cloning.
I want one!

-K

Be sure and check out Farenheit 911. If you like Michael Moore, then check out his website at www.michaelmoore.com.

I love you too...

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

-K

Hello and good morning my little fluffy one! I had a great time in Vegas with you and Fifi Von Monticore this weekend. I found a picture of Monticore from before we became his/her parents. Here it is.



Just a cute little puppy, who can rip your throat out!
Grrrr, ruff, meow!

-K

Hey there! Good morning my little slice of Pumperknickle. You are so awesome. Sorry about my little bitch-fest this morning. I was just grumpy, and I didn't mean to take it out on you. You know, the heat, work, this damn movie audition. It just catches up with me sometime, and I apologize if I got a bit whiney today. I can't wait to do this movie, it's going to be a welcome break from work, plus some extra duckets in our pocket. Did you get an alarm today? Are you my little pony? If you are still my little pony, stomp your hoof three times!

-K

Hi my little cat on a hot tin roof! I hope you got those fans today, 'cuz it looks like it's going to be another scorcher. Nothing new at work here, I'm a little worried about next week's check, but I'm sure something will come in. I'll just keep plugging away at it, but not working too hard... You're the best! Here is a link to some madness.

The Onion

-K

Good mornings my little kitten. I miss you already. I had fun this last week with the wedding and cousins and all. Sorry they turned out to be such bitches at the end. You are awesome. Wish me luck today, will be doing it at 2:25 P.M. Light a candle for me. Here is a link to some funny shit.

Fark

-K

Good morning my little kitten-face! I love you, and miss you terribly. Here is a link to a zebra with no stripes. He is cute, just like you.

<3

-K