Friday, March 25, 2005

Just finished up a week on Jury Duty. It wouldn't be fair to discuss the case here, so I won't go into specifics. However...

Monday, March 14, 2005

If you are wheelchair bound, unable to hold a rifle, or otherwise would like to shoot things from the comfort or your own computer, then has exactly what you're looking for.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Public version of Saddam capture fiction:

[World News]: RIYADH, Saudi Arabia, March 9 : A former U.S. Marine who participated in capturing ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein said the public version of his capture was fabricated.

Ex-Sgt.Nadim Abou Rabeh, of Lebanese descent, was quoted in the Saudi daily al-Medina Wednesday as saying Saddam was actually captured Friday, Dec. 12, 2003, and not the day after, as announced by the U.S. Army.

"I was among the 20-man unit, including eight of Arab descent, who searched for Saddam for three days in the area of Dour near Tikrit, and we found him in a modest home in a small village and not in a hole as announced," Abou Rabeh said.

"We captured him after fierce resistance during which a Marine of Sudanese origin was killed," he said.

He said Saddam himself fired at them with a gun from the window of a room on the second floor.Then they shouted at him in Arabic: "You have to surrender. ...There is no point in resisting."

"Later on, a military production team fabricated the film of Saddam's capture in a hole, which was in fact a deserted well," Abou Rabeh said.

Abou Rabeh was interviewed in Lebanon.

- -- Copyright 2005 by United Press International.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Is this what they mean by separation of Church and State?

Friday, March 04, 2005

(Reprinted with permission from Rip Rense)

WAR ON DRUGS (copyright 2005 Rip Rense)

Drugs, as we know, are evil. This is why Nancy Reagan told everyone to "just say no." This is why countless millions---er, billions---are spent fighting the "War on Drugs" instead of on, say, schools. (Gee, isn't it funny how drugs are more plentiful and popular than ever, anyhow?)
This is why Tommy Chong was thrown in jail for selling water-pipes.
This is why we have lots of "operatives" in the cocaine republics of South America doing strange things that we rarely hear about (especially when good reporters who write about them, like the late Gary Webb, are discredited and demoralized to the point of suicide.)
This is why "President" Bush will not admit to past use of marijuana (and, judging from his remarks on recently released tapes, possibly cocaine and LSD, too.)
This is why we have those neat "This is your brain on drugs" commercials, in which the wacked teenaged girl smashes her kitchen up with a frying pan. Wow. Potent stuff. Convinced me not to have children.
And this is why we are now giving enemy Iraq combatants the illegal drug, methylenedioxymeth- amphetamine, or MDMA. AKA "Ecstasy." The Love Drug. Adam. Hug Beans. High of choice at "raves" for at least fifteen years.
No, no---wait, I've got it wrong. We're not giving it to the enemy, we're giving it to our combatants! Our soldiers. That's right. G.I. Joe and G.I. Jane are on MDMA.
War on Drugs, meet the war on drugs.
"Private, I gave you an order! Did you hear me?"
"You have a beautifu soul, sir."
"Pick up your weapon!"
"But the enemy is human, sir. If we could just sit down together and talk for a while. . ."
And you thought it was crazy that the military recently considered devising a drug to turn enemy combatants into instant homosexuals. You know, so they would immediately put down their guns and pick up their, well, you get the idea.
This is your country. This is your country on drugs.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says that Ecstasy could help traumatized soldiers deal with "flashbacks" and recurring nightmares---and maybe even head off post-traumatic stress disorder. So a clinical "trial" program is under way, in which military victims of rape, sexual abuse and post-traumatic stress have been given MDMA.
Michael Mithoefer, a shrink in charge of the clinical trial, recently made a lot of clinical statements to the press, such as how it all looks "very promising," and "it's too early to draw any conclusions, but in these treatment-resistant people so far the results are encouraging," and "people are able to connect more deeply on an emotional level with the fact they are safe now."
Wink, wink.
Help with nightmares? Ease post-traumatic stress disorder? Make you "connect more deeply on an emotional level?" Is he kidding? You fall in love with the goddamn kitchen table. Kirstie Alley looks like three hundred pounds of heavenly joy. And er, "safe?" Well, Herr Mithoefer is right about that. There is only one thing imaginable that could induce a feeling of safety right in the middle of the Iraq war, and it ain't a visit from Donald Rumsfeld. . .

Can't you see it? Men with assault rifles and big fake nipples in their mouths. . .

Ecstasy is paradise with an ocean view. Physiologically, it blows open the seratonin floodgates until your brain is swimming, bathing, floating in unimaginable bliss. Malice toward no one. Before you know it, you're picking up ants from the carpet and gently placing them on the front lawn, wishing them a long and prosperous life, muttering "you have souls, too, little fellows. . ."
Ecstasy is Viagra for niceness. Give it to soldiers, and they won't want to kill the enemy, they'll want to kill 'em with kindness.
"It appears to act as a catalyst," says Mithoefer, "to help people move through whatever's been blocking their success in therapy."
Oh, it's a catalyst. It'll catalyze you into really enjoying the Teletubbies, and Mister Rogers and trance music. Ever see Rave People with pacifiers around their necks, or even---gasp---in their mouths? One of the features of Hug Beans is that their methampetamine component gets your jaw grinding, so the pacifier sates that particular compulsion.
Can't you see it? Men with assault rifles and big fake nipples in their mouths, breaking down Iraqi doors to win "hearts and minds." That ought to scare the crap out of Al-Qaeda.
So here's another reason to enlist, kids! Aside from the fact you have no job, a lousy education, and that Marine recruiter at Wal-Mart said you could use a military career as a springboard to becoming a famous rapper.
Go to Iraq, tell a shrink you're a little upset, and you'll get lots of pure pharmaceutical Ecstasy---not that watered down, speedy junk going around the raves. The good stuff. Far out! It's still a felony for us, but it's good fellowship for you. Why not just issue it with K-rations instead of free cigarettes?
Beats shooting heroin, like those poor Vietnam guys did.
Yes, forget all the "just say no" rhetoric and all the claims that ecstasy puts holes in the brain (now discredited)---it's a good drug again. Forget about suspicions that too much MDMA burns out seratonin producers or receptors, and can leave users with long-term depression. Just say yes!
After all, it was legal until the late '80s, when therapists employed it to help patients conquer fear, anxiety, and related disorders. Then the government banned it for the same reason that most things are banned: kids found that it was a lot of fun at parties, then got into automobiles.
I'm for it, risks and all. I'm for giving all our soldiers Ecstasy---and all their soldiers, too. In fact, all the armies of the world should take it, and certainly all the terrorists and politicians.
We'd have no more worries, at least until the drugs wore off.
"Soldier, what is your mission?"
"Mmmph Blurgh pfrkph."
"Take the pacifier out of your mouth, son."

printer-friendly version

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Good afternoon. Synchronicity...strange coincidences...random acts of madness. This is life in Los Angeles. If you haven't seen or heard from someone in a long-ass time, you're sure to "run into" that person within a 5-mile radius of Hollywood. I'm not kidding. My fiance's client works for a school that just interviewed my mother's husband. AND, the funny thing about it was that my fiance's client KNEW who he was, and what his relationship was to me the entire time, but she kept it quiet. Ha ha. She had to laugh. He was actually using his wife's father's name on his resume. Can you believe the lowest form of name-dropping there is? My Grandfather, (Jackie Coogan) was deceased before he had even met my mom. He hadn't even met the man who's name he was using as a reference! That's balls. Just goes to show you, the kind of ankle-biting, fleas you pick up in this park. So, in the name of fairness, here's his name.

Rob Tobin, I hope you google this.